Category: Literary Love Connection

Nov 09

Literary Love Connection: A Puppet Show

Literary Love Connection 9

Happy Monday Bookworms!

I made you a video this weekend. Actually, all I did was be ridiculous, it’s just that this time I did it in front of a camera. A few (okay a lot of) months ago I was sent some AWESOME literary finger puppets from Gone Reading. I told them I wanted to do a puppet show and they were pretty stoked about it, but then LIFE. UGH. But! It’s here now. And it’s… Well. It’s something. Enjoy!

 

Please ignore my apparently uneven nostrils. Nothing worse than a weirdly paused video still. Yeesh.

 

Divider

Apr 22

Literary Love Connection: Sinners and Saints

Humor, Literary Love Connection 18

Greetings Bookworms,

It’s been a while since I set any fictional characters up on a date, and the time has come. As you recall, the rules for Literary Love Connection are simple. I choose two fictional characters. I send them on a fake date. I watch imaginary sparks fly. Who will join Snaponine, Scarcliff, Minurtagh, and Arigo in the mildly disturbing ranks of my oddball couples? Read on, my friends!

literaryloveconnection

Today’s Bachelor is Jean Valjean from Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (review). Jean has a checkered past, but after a meaningful encounter with a clergyman, he’s sought to live a virtuous life raising a beautiful and precocious daughter.

Today’s Bachelorette is Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Hester’s checkered past begins with a meaningful encounter with a clergyman (AHEM), and with only a wee bit of defiance, she has sought to live a virtuous life while raising a beautiful and precocious daughter (who might be a little evil.)

Date Takes Place In Wooded Area Outside Boston

Jean: Bonjour, Madamoiselle. Your gown is so beautifully embroidered.

Hester: I thank thee. Unfortunately, the embroidery you admire is the evidence of my sin.

Jean: I have tried for years to atone for my sins! I was inspired by the holiest of men to turn my life around. Alas, I was thwarted at every turn by an unfair and antiquated justice system! And this complete jerk of a cop… You seriously would not believe this guy…

Hester: I have tried to atone for my sin by embracing it… Fashionably. After owning up to adultery, why not add vanity to the list? Of course, none of this would be necessary if it weren’t for this Puritanical justice system.

Jean: Was your clergyman as kind and loving as mine?

Hester: In a manner of speaking…

Jean: And your beautiful daughter! This is how a young girl should be raised. You wouldn’t believe how I found my beloved Cossette!

Hester: Found? She’s not the child of your loins?

Jean: No, her mother, Fantine, was a prostitute. I promised to care for the child as my own on her death bed.

Hester: So you’re ammenable to raising children that aren’t yours, and you don’t mind ladies who aren’t, perhaps, the most pure? What do you say we sit side by side in contemplative silence?

Jean: It is my greatest wish!

literaryloveconnection Jeanster Valprynne

Welcome to the ranks, Jeanster Valprynne! May you and your tortured souls enjoy a morally ambiguous relationship together. Tell me, Bookworms! Are there any other fictional characters you’d like to see meet their match? I’m always open to suggestions! 
 
*If you make a purchase through a link on this site I will receive a small commission.*

Divider

Feb 12

Literary Love Connection: Swashbuckling Hearthrobs

Literary Love Connection 6

My Darling Bookworms,

It is with great excitement and ALL THE BUTTERFLIES that I present today’s Valentine’s Day edition of Literary Love Connection. As per usual, I will be choosing two fictional characters from different books and setting them up on a date. Because it is magical. Trust me. *This contains some spoilers for Game of Thrones. If you’re up to date with the show and/or books, it’s a safe read. Still, proceed with caution.*

literaryloveconnection

Today’s Bachelor is Inigo Montoya from The Princess Bride by William Goldman (review.) Montoya has mad sword skills honed in a desire to avenge the death of his father. He enjoys high adventure, dueling, and freelance henchman-ship.

Today’s Bachelorette is (a grown up version of) Arya Stark from The Song of Ice and Fire series by George RR Martin (assuming she lives long enough to grow up, MARTIN.) Arya has mad sword skills honed in a desire to avenge the deaths of her father, brother, mother, etc… She enjoyed spending time with her family (before she lost them), her direwolf (before she lost her), and isn’t afraid to disguise herself as a dude when necessary.

Date Takes Place in The Thieve’s Quarter of Florin

Inigo: Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father… Wait, no. Sorry. Old habits die hard. Just, um, hello.

Arya: You lost your father? So did I. Among others. I’m on a quest to kill all the people who have hurt my family. Winter is coming, and revenge is a dish best served cold. You any good with that sword?

Inigo: The best. I’ve been training since the day my father was murdered by the six fingered man.

Arya: I learned the art of swordplay from my Braavosi dancing master… Before he was murdered by the Lannisters.

Inigo: I don’t mean to question your losses, but you’re sure everyone is dead, right? Not just mostly dead? Because I know a guy…

Arya: Death has plagued House Stark. Full death. Really. There’s no coming back from decapitation.

Inigo: My beautiful warrior of justice, I couldn’t live with myself if I let you continue on this quest alone. Allow me to accompany you and lend you my sword… And my heart.

Arya: Well, I mean, it might be nice to have some company who wasn’t trying to hold me captive. Sure. As long as you don’t slow me down. You better not expect me to wear a dress though, because that is SO not happening.

Inigo: (Kisses her hand with courtly flourish) I will follow you to the ends of the earth, my lady.

Arya: I like you, but if you call me “my lady” again, I’ll stick you with the pointy end.

literaryloveconnectionmontark

And with the slash of a sword, ARIGO is born! They proudly join the ranks of Snaponine, Scarcliff, and Minurtagh. Heaven help them all.

Talk to me, Bookworms! Who would you choose as YOUR bookish valentine?

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission.*

Divider

Jan 16

Literary Love Connection: Tartan Rules

Literary Love Connection 19

Hello My Dear Bookworms,

When I’m bored, I like to play imaginary matchmaker. Fictional characters dance around in my head and I want them to be dancing with each other, see? Brace yourselves. There’s about to be a lot of plaid.

literaryloveconnection

 

Today’s Bachelor is Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser from The Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon. Murtagh is a quiet fellow who enjoys casual cattle theft, whisky, and has a lovely singing voice. He spends his free time attempting to bail out a charming yet mischievous young lad who seems hell-bent on his own destruction.

Today’s Bachelorette is Minerva McGonagall from The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling. Minerva is a no-nonsense professor of magic who enjoys transfiguration, pithy comebacks, and becoming a cat when the mood strikes. She spends her free time attempting to bail out a charming yet mischievous young lad who seems hell-bent on his own destruction.

Date Takes Place on a moor in the Scottish Highlands

McGonagall: Good evening, Mr. Fraser.

Murtagh: (Startled) Oh. Aye. Where’d ye come from? I dinna see a horse…

McGonagall: I apparated, naturally. I’ve brought some firewhisky. Care for a dram?

Murtagh: Aye, a dram wouldna come amiss. Apparation, ye say?

McGonagall: It’s nice to see a man in a kilt. I’m surrounded by wizards in robes all day long, but so little tartan.

Murtagh: (Crosses Self) Are ye some sort of witch?!

McGonagall: Yes. Is that a problem for you? Actually, it’s a bit of a problem for me. I hope you don’t mind having your memory modified, but I could get into a lot of trouble if the ministry found out about our rendezvous.

Murtagh: Aye, well. I suppose it’s not the most outlandish thing I’ve ever heard. My godson went and married himself a time-travelling sassenach. That’s when he’s not trying to single-handedly take on an army of redcoats, mind. Wee bugger’s going to be the death of me.

McGonagall: Tell me about it. I have a student who continuously tries to take on the world’s most dangerous dark wizard on his own. Before Mr. Potter started at Hogwarts, I had significantly less gray hair.

Murtagh: (Lifting a glass) Aye. Here’s to our pair o’ trouble makers. May they live to an age older than this whisky! By the way, your hair’s bonnie. It suits you.

McGonagall: (Blushes) Sláinte!

literaryloveMinertaugh

Welcome to the weird Literary Love Connection universe, Minurtaugh! Snaponine and Scarcliff probably won’t be happy to see you, but I wouldn’t worry about it. They don’t like anybody.

My darling bookworms, I’m always open to character suggestions! Hit me up with characters you’d like to see go on fake dates!

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission.*

Divider

Nov 04

Literary Love Connection: The Brooding and The Obsessive

Literary Love Connection 16

Hello Bookworms and Welcome to Literary Love Connection!

literaryloveconnection

Today’s Bachelorette is Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell (review). Scarlett enjoys being admired, flouting social mores, and romantic espionage. She spends her free time ruminating on her beauty and obsessing over The One That Got Away And Ended Up With A Much Better Wife Despite Being A Giant Weenie.

 Today’s Bachelor is Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (review). Heathcliff enjoys brooding, nefarious plotting, and revenge. He spends his free time acquiring wealth in order to shame those who have hurt him and obsessing over The One That Got Away Because She Was Shallow And Lived Miserably Ever After.

Date Takes Place at a Ball in Atlanta, Mid-Waltz.

Scarlett: Most of my beaux have proposed by this point in the evening. I hear you have a large estate?

Heathcliff: I was adopted into a wealthy family but treated like a peasant. I’ve since acquired a vast amount of wealth, and used it to torment those who once persecuted me.

Scarlett: I do admire a man with gumption. Not as much as I admire Ashley, but he’s been damaged goods since the war. Can you BELIEVE he chose that dowdy Melanie over me?

Heathcliff: Don’t speak to me of thwarted love! Why, my Catherine. Whatever our two souls were made of, hers and mine were the same. And yet! I had no name or fortune to offer her and she spurned me. Now it’s naught but misery, MISERY, I tell you!

Scarlett: Misery? Well, I’ll think about that tomorrow. But this money you have. Do you think you’d be interested in investing in a gorgeous plantation? My father was Irish, I don’t suppose it would matter that much if my new husband were to be a Brit.

Heathcliff: Damn you, woman! I did not offer you marriage!

Scarlett: Fiddle dee dee! You can’t resist this.

Heathcliff: Take your damnable bustle elsewhere, witch! And by elsewhere, I mean to my carriage. Let us away!

llcscarheath

 

Yes, Bookworms. Scarcliff just happened. SorryNotSorry. Are there any other fictional characters you’d like to see hooked up? Tell me about it in the comments!

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission.*

Divider

Oct 07

Literary Love Connection: Friend-Zoned

Literary Love Connection 36

Welcome, Bookworms!

I’m putting on my very best Chuck Woolery voice today so I can announce the newest feature here on Words for Worms. I’m going to start playing matchmaker with literary characters in a little game I’m calling Literary Love Connection. The concept is simple. Choose literary characters. Send them on a fake date. Watch sparks fly. Will we make a love connection?!

literaryloveconnectionToday’s Bachelor is Severus Snape from the Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling. Severus likes potions, sneering, and giving detentions. He spends his free time wallowing in self loathing and pining for The One That Got Away And Was Subsequently Murdered By His Boss.

Today’s Bachelorette is Éponine Thénardier from Les Misérables by Victor Hugo. Eponine enjoys long walks through Paris, crossdressing, and recreational stalking. She spends her free time wandering the city while singing songs of loss for The One That Got Away And Fell In Love With That Bitch Who Used To Live With Her Family.

The Date takes place in a quiet cafe in Paris.

Snape: You don’t eat much.

Éponine: My corset doesn’t allow for more than 3 mouthfuls of food a day. I thought you’d have been clued in by my alarmingly narrow waist.

Snape: Pfft. Muggles. You worry about food. I can brew glory and put a stopper in death!

Éponine: How are you with love potions?

Snape: Abysmal, unfortunately. Not that I ever tried one. After Lily married that filthy Potter, what was the point?

Éponine: I know what you mean! Here I am, on the streets, singing the best song in the musical version of my life, and Marius goes for that ninny Cosette. He should have seen her as a child. She looked AWFUL.

Snape: My indifference toward you seems to be waning. More wine?

Éponine: Yes, please. After dinner would you like to take a walk along the Seine? I can show you the spot where that cop offed himself.

Snape: I can think of nothing I’d like better.

snaponine

 

 Now that Snaponine is a thing, I am desperate to create more unholy unions. Chime in, Bookworms. Are there any literary characters you’d like to see set up on a date? 

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission. I am also fully aware that both the fictional characters involved in this particular love connection are fictionally deceased.*

Divider