Literary Love Connection: The Brooding and The Obsessive

November 4, 2014 Literary Love Connection 17

Hello Bookworms and Welcome to Literary Love Connection!


Today’s Bachelorette is Scarlett O’Hara from Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell (review). Scarlett enjoys being admired, flouting social mores, and romantic espionage. She spends her free time ruminating on her beauty and obsessing over The One That Got Away And Ended Up With A Much Better Wife Despite Being A Giant Weenie.

 Today’s Bachelor is Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë (review). Heathcliff enjoys brooding, nefarious plotting, and revenge. He spends his free time acquiring wealth in order to shame those who have hurt him and obsessing over The One That Got Away Because She Was Shallow And Lived Miserably Ever After.

Date Takes Place at a Ball in Atlanta, Mid-Waltz.

Scarlett: Most of my beaux have proposed by this point in the evening. I hear you have a large estate?

Heathcliff: I was adopted into a wealthy family but treated like a peasant. I’ve since acquired a vast amount of wealth, and used it to torment those who once persecuted me.

Scarlett: I do admire a man with gumption. Not as much as I admire Ashley, but he’s been damaged goods since the war. Can you BELIEVE he chose that dowdy Melanie over me?

Heathcliff: Don’t speak to me of thwarted love! Why, my Catherine. Whatever our two souls were made of, hers and mine were the same. And yet! I had no name or fortune to offer her and she spurned me. Now it’s naught but misery, MISERY, I tell you!

Scarlett: Misery? Well, I’ll think about that tomorrow. But this money you have. Do you think you’d be interested in investing in a gorgeous plantation? My father was Irish, I don’t suppose it would matter that much if my new husband were to be a Brit.

Heathcliff: Damn you, woman! I did not offer you marriage!

Scarlett: Fiddle dee dee! You can’t resist this.

Heathcliff: Take your damnable bustle elsewhere, witch! And by elsewhere, I mean to my carriage. Let us away!



Yes, Bookworms. Scarcliff just happened. SorryNotSorry. Are there any other fictional characters you’d like to see hooked up? Tell me about it in the comments!

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17 Responses to “Literary Love Connection: The Brooding and The Obsessive”

  1. Brooke

    Yeessss! Particularly when we’re talking about Tom Hardy Heathclif. NOM. So. Tortured. Also: “Fiddle dee dee! You can’t resist this” is probably the best romantic retort ever.

    • Jason Guevarra

      In 1998, they re released Gone with the Wind. When I told my father I was about to go see it, he got confused and asked, “Did they digitally remaster it?” (Because the year before, they did that with Star Wars.) I said, “Yeah, Dad, the death star comes out and blows up Ashley Wilkes.” Haaaa Haaaa.

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