Literary Love Connection: Tartan Rules

January 16, 2015 Literary Love Connection 19

Hello My Dear Bookworms,

When I’m bored, I like to play imaginary matchmaker. Fictional characters dance around in my head and I want them to be dancing with each other, see? Brace yourselves. There’s about to be a lot of plaid.



Today’s Bachelor is Murtagh Fitzgibbons Fraser from The Outlander Series by Diana Gabaldon. Murtagh is a quiet fellow who enjoys casual cattle theft, whisky, and has a lovely singing voice. He spends his free time attempting to bail out a charming yet mischievous young lad who seems hell-bent on his own destruction.

Today’s Bachelorette is Minerva McGonagall from The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling. Minerva is a no-nonsense professor of magic who enjoys transfiguration, pithy comebacks, and becoming a cat when the mood strikes. She spends her free time attempting to bail out a charming yet mischievous young lad who seems hell-bent on his own destruction.

Date Takes Place on a moor in the Scottish Highlands

McGonagall: Good evening, Mr. Fraser.

Murtagh: (Startled) Oh. Aye. Where’d ye come from? I dinna see a horse…

McGonagall: I apparated, naturally. I’ve brought some firewhisky. Care for a dram?

Murtagh: Aye, a dram wouldna come amiss. Apparation, ye say?

McGonagall: It’s nice to see a man in a kilt. I’m surrounded by wizards in robes all day long, but so little tartan.

Murtagh: (Crosses Self) Are ye some sort of witch?!

McGonagall: Yes. Is that a problem for you? Actually, it’s a bit of a problem for me. I hope you don’t mind having your memory modified, but I could get into a lot of trouble if the ministry found out about our rendezvous.

Murtagh: Aye, well. I suppose it’s not the most outlandish thing I’ve ever heard. My godson went and married himself a time-travelling sassenach. That’s when he’s not trying to single-handedly take on an army of redcoats, mind. Wee bugger’s going to be the death of me.

McGonagall: Tell me about it. I have a student who continuously tries to take on the world’s most dangerous dark wizard on his own. Before Mr. Potter started at Hogwarts, I had significantly less gray hair.

Murtagh: (Lifting a glass) Aye. Here’s to our pair o’ trouble makers. May they live to an age older than this whisky! By the way, your hair’s bonnie. It suits you.

McGonagall: (Blushes) Sláinte!


Welcome to the weird Literary Love Connection universe, Minurtaugh! Snaponine and Scarcliff probably won’t be happy to see you, but I wouldn’t worry about it. They don’t like anybody.

My darling bookworms, I’m always open to character suggestions! Hit me up with characters you’d like to see go on fake dates!

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19 Responses to “Literary Love Connection: Tartan Rules”

    • Words For Worms

      Thanks Sarah! I usually try to pick characters I think most of my readers will know and relate to, but it’s kind of a crap shoot. Still my favorite game, though :).

  1. Heather

    I love it!!! I can totally see the two of them sitting around a fire on the Scottish heath, talking about the ridiculous stuff that Harry and Jaime get into. I’m going to be thinking about this all day now….

  2. Megan M.

    What a great date! Get it, Minerva! And that Scottish dialect? You must be a hammer Katie because you NAILED IT.

    • Words For Worms

      I’ve been bingeing on the Outlander audiobooks since, like, September. My inner monologue is currently full of “aye, dinna fash yourself” and the like. Of course, since you just called me a hammer, “Can’t Touch This” has temporarily taken over my brain wave. “Music hits me SO HARD makes me say, Oh my Lord!”

    • Words For Worms

      I don’t know if it’s JK approved or fan-fic I ran across, but assuming it’s legit, McGonagall DID find love with a muggle in the Scottish Highlands as a young woman, but he didn’t know she was a witch. She assumed she had to choose between forsaking her magic or forsaking her heart (thanks to her parents’ fraught mixed marriage.) I had to get her a date. HAD TO.

      • Heather

        I’m pretty sure I read that somewhere on Pinterest.. it was a collection of “facts” that JK Rowling mentioned in interviews after the seventh book was complete. It also said that she gave up her nonmagical love, and ended up marrying her boss at the Ministry… he died, and she kept her maiden name.

        Which, I feel makes her even MORE perfect for Murtaugh. Both of them giving certain people up…. sigh.

    • Words For Worms

      Oh gosh, I suppose this is a bit fan-fic-esque, though I didn’t really intend it that way. It’s just that the conversational format seemed to work better than my attempts to explain why the matches would be good…

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