Literary Love Connection: Sinners and Saints

April 22, 2015 Humor, Literary Love Connection 18

Greetings Bookworms,

It’s been a while since I set any fictional characters up on a date, and the time has come. As you recall, the rules for Literary Love Connection are simple. I choose two fictional characters. I send them on a fake date. I watch imaginary sparks fly. Who will join Snaponine, Scarcliff, Minurtagh, and Arigo in the mildly disturbing ranks of my oddball couples? Read on, my friends!


Today’s Bachelor is Jean Valjean from Les Miserables by Victor Hugo (review). Jean has a checkered past, but after a meaningful encounter with a clergyman, he’s sought to live a virtuous life raising a beautiful and precocious daughter.

Today’s Bachelorette is Hester Prynne from The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne. Hester’s checkered past begins with a meaningful encounter with a clergyman (AHEM), and with only a wee bit of defiance, she has sought to live a virtuous life while raising a beautiful and precocious daughter (who might be a little evil.)

Date Takes Place In Wooded Area Outside Boston

Jean: Bonjour, Madamoiselle. Your gown is so beautifully embroidered.

Hester: I thank thee. Unfortunately, the embroidery you admire is the evidence of my sin.

Jean: I have tried for years to atone for my sins! I was inspired by the holiest of men to turn my life around. Alas, I was thwarted at every turn by an unfair and antiquated justice system! And this complete jerk of a cop… You seriously would not believe this guy…

Hester: I have tried to atone for my sin by embracing it… Fashionably. After owning up to adultery, why not add vanity to the list? Of course, none of this would be necessary if it weren’t for this Puritanical justice system.

Jean: Was your clergyman as kind and loving as mine?

Hester: In a manner of speaking…

Jean: And your beautiful daughter! This is how a young girl should be raised. You wouldn’t believe how I found my beloved Cossette!

Hester: Found? She’s not the child of your loins?

Jean: No, her mother, Fantine, was a prostitute. I promised to care for the child as my own on her death bed.

Hester: So you’re ammenable to raising children that aren’t yours, and you don’t mind ladies who aren’t, perhaps, the most pure? What do you say we sit side by side in contemplative silence?

Jean: It is my greatest wish!

literaryloveconnection Jeanster Valprynne

Welcome to the ranks, Jeanster Valprynne! May you and your tortured souls enjoy a morally ambiguous relationship together. Tell me, Bookworms! Are there any other fictional characters you’d like to see meet their match? I’m always open to suggestions! 
*If you make a purchase through a link on this site I will receive a small commission.*

18 Responses to “Literary Love Connection: Sinners and Saints”

  1. Megan M.

    Inspired match as usual, Katie! I saw a very witty poster on Pinterest that says “Javert has 24,601 problems and Jean Valjean is all of them.” LOL Wait, Hester’s daughter was evil? I don’t remember that.

    • Words For Worms

      Okay, I’m DYING about the Javert pin, that’s amazing. And Hester’s daughter wasn’t evil, per se, but unruly enough that the townsfolk thought her scandalous conception and her sinner mother were a bad influence. I just remember my high school English teacher pointing out all sorts of foreshadowing and SYMBOLISM. Maybe I’m just projecting that the daughter was evil because I haaaaaaaaaaaaaaated the book so very much in HS.

  2. Melissa

    Hilarious. I like the way you think.
    Also, I saw your link to me a while back about “potent quotables.” Thanks! And I got that from SNL 🙂

Talk to me, Bookworms!

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.