Confession Friday (on Thursday): We Fear the Doorbell

December 19, 2013 Confession Friday, Personal 44

Bookworms, I have a confession to make.

Jim and I HIDE when the doorbell rings, particularly if it’s after dark. The last winter’s eve visitor we had turned out to be a Mormon missionary. While I respect the rights of all people to practice their respective religions, I would prefer it if I were left alone to practice (or not practice) mine in the privacy of my own home. In any case, we’ve adopted a “don’t answer the door unless you know someone’s coming” policy.

Which is great. Unless your cell phone is set to silent, so you don’t get the memo that your neighbors are coming by to drop off the winnings of the holiday decorating contest. (Because eeep! We won the GRISWOLD!) And you leave your friend outside on the porch in the cold while you hide behind furniture because you think you’re being stealthy by not looking out the window to actually see who’s there. (If you don’t see them, they don’t see you, right?) Except you’ve forgotten to draw the blinds and the sheer curtains totally blow your cover. Did I mention that this is the friend that you trust enough to give KEYS to your HOUSE?

Neighbor Shaming.

Neighbor Shaming.

Yeah. We’re THOSE neighbors now. The super paranoid weirdos who hide from their friends, never open the door for fundraising teenagers, and give the stink eye to anybody who walks on their immaculate lawn. Tyson, Angie, Jeannie, and Ann, please accept my humble, sheepish, mortified apology. Y’all are the best neighbors in the land, so great that you probably will just laugh at our antics and use them for future good-natured teasing, but seriously. So freaking sorry!

I don’t think I’ve been this full on embarrassed in a while (my shame-meter has been calibrated to be pretty high.) Any of you bookworms want to tell an embarrassing story of your own so I don’t have to feel like such a paranoid loser face? Please? 

44 Responses to “Confession Friday (on Thursday): We Fear the Doorbell”

  1. Jan

    If it helps I grew up in a house where we hid from trick or treaters and the other day my dad apparently shut the door in the face of some Christmas carolers!

    • Words For Worms

      Hahahahaha! We are ALL ABOUT Trick-or-Treaters, because we know they just want candy. Carolers would just look like a pack of weirdos and I wouldn’t answer either!

  2. Silvia

    Ha, I’m the same! All my friends know not to drop in without warning, because I’m more likely than not to pretend I’m not home. Mornings are dangerous though, because it might be the postie and I wouldn’t want to miss a package, so sometimes I open the door to “other” people by accident. I have no compunctions about shutting the door in their face though 😉

  3. Kari

    We are the exact same way.
    Which makes it hard when you have a five year old who yells SOMEONE IS AT THE DOOR MOMMY!! I WILL GET IT!!!
    Kind of ruins the mystique of it all.

  4. Rhian

    Ooh, I think I’ve got one.

    What you need to know is my front door has clear glass panes through which you can see all the way down our passageway. Fact number two is that I don’t wear pyjamas or a nightie.

    One Saturday afternoon I was enjoying a nanna nap when the phone rang. I bolted out of the bedroom, down the passage and into the office to the nearest phone. It was my mum. Who was at my front door.

    Thankfully I had thought to throw on a t-shirt before my dash to the phone.

    Does that make you feel better?

    • Words For Worms

      Bwahahahahahaha!!!!! This is the BEST! The good news is, at least it wouldn’t have been the first time your mom saw you in your birthday suit, having, you know, been present at the birthing. You guys are cracking me up!

  5. Jenny @ Reading the End

    No shame! It is okay! You are not the paranoid neighbors! You are just the neighbors who can’t take any more proselytizing, which really, probably all the neighbors feel that way. If it were me coming over to give you your award, I would just laugh. My feelings wouldn’t be hurt and I wouldn’t think you were crazy.

  6. Sarah Says Read

    LOL. You are the funniest. Although I’m KIND of the same way… I try to see who’s there first (via car outside, peeping out a window, or using the actual peephole we have now), and I usually have some sort of weapon in my hand while I check it out… cause you never know. And of course the honeyman will handle it if he’s home, and I’m just sitting there hoping whoever it is goes away so we can finish watching whatever show we’re watching. Oy.

    CONGRATS ON WINNING THE DECORATING COMPETITION! Your neighborhood sounds full of awesome people.

    • Words For Worms

      Pfft, Jim is worse than I am about the door. I’ve got a politeness meter, at least I feel guilty about it. He will admit to no wrongdoing in avoiding the doorbell, placing the blame on me instead for having my ringer off. Sigh. At least he still humors me and walks up the stairs first after we watch The Walking Dead because I’m a chicken.

  7. Megan M.

    Hahaha! Congratulations on your win! I have a story for you. I was just at Walmart buying a few groceries and I was in the soda aisle getting a 24-pack of Dr. Peppers. All of the boxes on the shelf looked kind of beat-up, so I picked up one that was sitting on the floor. Turned out there was a REASON it was on the floor like that… both sides of the box were open and when I picked it up, all 24 cans of soda went crashing to the floor and rolling all over the place. I had to pick up every single one. It was crowded, too. SO embarrassing.

  8. Ashley F

    I do the same thing but it’s a bit different when you live in an Apartment. If I didn’t buzz anyone up, nobody should be knocking on my door, end of discussion.

    • Words For Worms

      The apartment was nice because of the peep hole… Now our door has a glass panel- it’s clear enough to see shapes moving but not clear enough to identify anyone, so they can definitely see us spying but we still can’t tell who it is.

  9. kristinshafel

    I’m totally with you. The worst (for me) is when I’m practicing bass, because 1) I’m practicing, don’t disturb me 2) I can’t pretend I’m not home, people can hear you. It’s got a similar effect as when random strangers start conversations with you when you’re reading in public, but you know, like, opposite. Grr.

    • Words For Worms

      Oooh that would suck. And it’s not like you can claim “I couldn’t hear the bell over my bass” because strings just aren’t loud enough to drown out a doorbell. Maybe take up drums?

      • kristinshafel

        Haha well, actually… if I’m far enough back in the house from the front door I might not hear it. Bass is loud! 🙂 but our last house, I practiced in the dining area which was near the front.

  10. Ciska @ Ciska's Book Chest

    I actually have a note next to my doorbell that people who want to convince me of their religion, are collecting money or want to sell me something are not allowed to ring it. I must admit it works perfectly well, we regularly spot people who turn around while approaching the front door even though they can see we are home 😉

  11. Charleen

    Oh, I’m exactly the same way. I run and hide and make my husband answer the door if there’s an unexpected knock. It doesn’t happen that often (we’re in an apartment, not a house) but yeah…

    And if I’m the only one home, I get super-freaked. I don’t even like going to the peephole to see who it is because I’ll assume they can hear me moving around and then I can’t pretend I’m not there. I also hate when I’m watching TV, because then I can’t really hide either, but MAYBE I FELL ASLEEP WHILE WATCHING, YOU DON’T KNOW!!!

  12. Claudia

    Congrats on the win! My story involves a different type of visitor: me! I was headed to my in-laws’ house this week and got lost! I’ve been there a bajillion times before but it was dark and this is Norway with small roads so I ended up going all the way around the mountain! I kept driving hoping I would see something familiar to guide me but no luck. I ended up at some farm in the middle of no where before calling my husband to help with directions. It took me more than an hour to get there and then I had to explain why I was 45 minutes late! They couldn’t stop laughing, I was mortified!

  13. Kelly

    This post made me LOL. When I was really young, my mom taught me and my brothers to hide whenever the Jehovah’s Witnesses came around the neighborhood. She probably shouldn’t have instilled this in us so vigorously, because it got to the point where we’d see them walking up the street and start yelling, “HIDE! HIDE!! THE JEHOVAH’S ARE COMING!!!” as we ran around the house looking for places to conceal ourselves from the door. I’m sure at least one of them probably heard us at some point, so enthusiastic were we with our screaming.

    • Words For Worms

      That is too funny! I bet that sort of think happens pretty frequently. I don’t get the whole missionary thing. I mean, charitable missions in third world countries? Well, as long as you’re giving food and vaccines with the preaching, it’s not all bad. I think they need to re-evaluate their target markets, you know?

  14. Tiffany

    I am the same way! I work from home and i feel like the neighbors know this so they think I am free to answer the door all day. I close the curtains, hush the dog and hide until they go away! If I don’t know you are coming, I will not answer the door.

  15. Redhotwritinghood

    We hide from the doorbell as well. Even when it’s cute little kids out trick or treating. The only good thing is our layout so they can’t tell if we are home or not.

  16. Shannon @ River City Reading

    HA!! I totally do this, mostly because my dog is insane and will bark like crazy at anyone who is outside until she can be in the same place as them and then she wants to be their best friend. It’s all fine and dandy, but she looks super crazy/scary for people when I try to corral her while I’m opening the door and it’s a big hassle. So I hide.

  17. TJ

    Here’s one from when I was still in college: I was studying and so I refused to open the front door when the door bell rang. It rang several times over the course of the day, and I was getting pretty annoyed. When it was time to go to school for the final that night, I saw that it was construction workers who had rung the bell. To tell me that they were going to tear up the road to put in a curb. Which meant there now was a hole at the end of the driveway. Since I absolutely HAD to go to school, the nice men actually CARRIED my Mazda Miata over the hole so that I could drive off. I am not sure whether they believed me when I told them that the door bell must have been broken because I didn’t hear it ring. 🙂

  18. Monika

    I’m a paranoid loser face, too! I do the SAME THING. I hate the doorbell. I kind of hate my phone, too. Just FB or text or email me, people!!

  19. Leah @ Books Speak Volumes

    Hee! I would probably do this if I lived in a house. As it is, I’m in an apartment, so no one ever comes to my door except maintenance. Even so, my door doesn’t have a peephole, and I’m always terrified that it’s going to be someone that’s not maintenance (someone SCARY) when I go to open the door.

    Also, I have scary stories from my college apartment, which was the bottom floor of a house. More than once my roommate, whose room was at the front of the house, woke up and looked out the window to see someone sleeping on our porch. And sometimes random homeless people would be chilling on my porch when I came home from class. It was really uncomfortable to walk by them and open my door; I was always afraid they would follow me in!

    • Words For Worms

      Oh man! This is actually part of the basis for our hiding… When we lived in our apartment, we’d get strangers banging on the door at all hours… Because they’d gone to the wrong apartment. It was really scary, they’d pound the windows too, and then never apologize when they realized we weren’t who they were looking for. Ugh.

  20. Samantha

    I am REALLY late to this party, but I am totally identifying with it nonetheless. I do not answer the door unless I’m expecting someone, and if I do it’s with great caution. My apartment is near-impossible to find, and if someone has found it I’m not expecting I get pretty wary. I have to look outside, see if I recognize the car, see if I can recognize the voice outside my door…yeah. It’s kind of sad. But at least if my fears were confirmed someday I could shut the door and rush to my safety door and shut it behind me before they could do anything funny.

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