Good Day, Bookworms!
This week I’m going to be traveling (the husband is going to be home though, take note, burglars!) to visit my BFF in Ohio. She’s just had a brand new little girl, and Crazy Aunt Katie can’t resist fresh baby. Her brother went and grew up on me (though at the ripe old age of 6 he’s now into Harry Potter, so yay!) In any case, I might be slow to respond to comments and/or with the social media. I trust you’ll forgive me.
When I was in middle school and my BFF and I were in the throes of our attached-at-the-hip-insane-giggle-fest stage, my parents acquired a book called He’s Got the Whole World in His Pants by Gavin Edwards. It’s a compilation of misheard song lyrics and we found it HYSTERICAL. The lyric that got us laughing harder than anything else? The lyrics for Elton John’s “Tiny Dancer.” They’re often misheard, but typically invoke the name of Tony Danza. This one though. This one.
Correct Lyric: “Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer.”
Misheard Lyric: “Hold my clothes and tie me down, Sir.”
I’m not sure if it was the idea of nudity, bondage, or just the extreme politeness of the sentiment but it always sent us into uncontrollable laughter. I thought it might be fun to expose some of my and my nearest and dearest’s personally misheard lyrics. Shall we?
Jim is up first, my poor long-suffering husband. He’s a clean fellow, which helps to explain his latest lyric flub. While listening to Justin Timberlake’s “Mirrors,” Jim heard:
Correct Lyric: “You and me and a pocketful of soul”
Jim’s Lyric: “You and me and a pocketful of SOAP”
I can’t help but imagine a dude walking around in jeans foaming at the pockets with soap suds… Jim’s not alone in his lyrical incorrectness. I’ve made my share of bonehead lyric interpretations, and since we’re talking about my BFF here, I’m going to go with one of the songs that defined our grunge era teen angst, “Pepper” by the Butthole Surfers:
Correct Lyric: “They were all in love with dying”
Katie’s Lyric: “They were all in love with DIANE”
In my defense, the lyrics leading up to this point in the song list off a variety of people’s names and their escapades… I just thought they all had a thing for the illustrious Diane. It made sense to me. Of course, I also rationalized this gem from Cheryl Crow’s “Every Day Is a Winding Road“:
Correct Lyric: “I’ve been living on coffee and nicotine”
Katie’s Lyric: “I’ve been living on coffee and LUTEIN.”
At the time this song was popular, there was a commercial airing discussing the benefits of lutein, a vitamin that is supposed to promote eye health. I just ASSUMED Cheryl Crow was into vitamin supplements. Turns out she was a smoker. Still, at least I had a REASONS for thinking what I did within the context of the songs. My mom’s is perhaps more understandable, but infinitely funnier when considering the subject matter of the song, Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Bad Moon Rising“:
Correct Lyric: “There’s a bad moon on the rise”
Mom’s Lyric: “There’s a BATHROOM on the RIGHT.”
Don’t go out tonight, folks. There may or may not be a bathroom on your right. You know how dangerous that can be. If you’re in the mood for some giggles circa 1996, track down a copy of He’s Got the Whole World in His Pants and have yourself yourself a giggle!
Have you got any misheard song lyrics you’d like to own up to?