Confession Friday: I am a Sweaty Beast

September 6, 2013 Confession Friday 38

What’s Shaking, Bookworms?

I feel like sharing embarrassing truths with you today. TO THE CONFESSIONAL!

I sweat like a 70 year old man running a marathon in a bear costume. I’m going to go ahead and blame Dad for this genetic foible (along with the prematurely graying hair…) It’s weird because I’m not one of those people who are always warm. Most of the time, I’m Little Miss Cardigan catching a chill from the air conditioning.

The thing is though, when I do get warm, or do, say 3 minutes of cardio, get out the umbrellas, because it’s raining Katie sweat. I seriously gross myself out. It’s not just normal person workout sweat. I take a pilates class and I am consistently the only one who is dripping sweat by the end of it. It’s not even a class full of perfectly fit 22 year old girls… There are other women my age, middle aged women, and even a couple of older dudes. I out-sweat a 70 year old man on the regular. Because, you know, that’s totally something to brag about.

Sweaty Award

I have probably mentioned at some point that when I dream, they’re almost exclusively anxiety dreams (we can blame Mom for that little gift from the gene pool.) One of my most frequent dreams is that the powers that be have somehow nullified my high school diploma and I have to go back to school (because having a bachelor’s degree is just not good enough to prove my knowledge of high school things?) The class I have to take over and over again is Phys Ed. Of course.  I’m pretty sure it’s out of vogue, but the ONLY thing I LIKED about my high school gym classes was the fact that they were segregated. Girls in one class, boys in the other. It’s bad enough to be forced to run laps around a gym for 20 minutes at a time, it’s a special form of torture to have to do it, in all your sweat raining glory, in front of boys. Thank God for small favors, amiright?!

Does anybody else want to admit to being gross and stinky so I don’t feel all alone as I wring buckets o’ sweat out of my t-shirts?

38 Responses to “Confession Friday: I am a Sweaty Beast”

  3. Sami Alford

    Definitely…and I always seem to have the friend who wants to work out and barely sweats. So there we are and I’m sweating like a pig and she’s glistening. I also can’t cool off quickly so I’m still sweating after I take a shower and get dressed. BTW…I have a recurring dream that I’m in college and I go to class to take the final and realize that I haven’t been to any of my classes…weird.

    Reply

  4. Charleen

    I do get pretty sweaty (but, unlike you, I do get overheated very easily, so it’s more of a natural if unfortunate byproduct of that). Seriously, though, even if it’s a perfect day for walking (which for me is 50 degrees and overcast), I can’t use walking as a form of transportation, because I will be dying once I get to wherever I’m going… and this is true whether I’m in shape or not. It doesn’t help that my city is ridiculously hilly because we’re right on the river. I’ve lived here for three years, through varying levels of fitness, and even when I was running three times a week, just a slow, casual walk to the grocery store (3/4 of a mile from my apartment) would leave me looking like I’m about to pass out… bright red face and sweaty all over. I really don’t mind looking like that at the gym (I mean, I used to, but I got over it pretty quickly), but as much as I’d love to use, “I just need to pick up a couple things,” as an excuse to fit some extra activity into my day… I just can’t do it anymore.

    Reply

  5. Megan M.

    I sweat a lot, too, and I’m cold-natured. I usually tell people I’m descended from reptiles since my body seems unable to regulate its own temperature.

    My stress dreams usually involve not being able to get into my locker and having to navigate a maze-like school to get my combination from the office, OR realizing during finals that I’ve completely forgotten to attend one of my classes the whole year, and it’s MATH.

    Reply

  6. kristinshafel

    I’m not a super sweaty person, but I hate sweating out the pits on shirts and getting stains there. That’s one thing I love about summer: tank tops! 🙂

    Reply

  7. Lillian Connelly

    I am reading this book about introverts. Apparently introverts sweat more. We actually have thinner skin. Weird, right? I have that dream about high school all the time. I get a call that I am short a few credits and need to make them up. They gave me my diploma prematurely. I am in a math class at 38 with a bunch of kids. It’s scary.

    Reply

    • Words for Worms

      SERIOUSLY?! Because it’s not difficult enough for us to deal with being awkward around people, we also get the added bonus of a LITERAL thin skin?! What in the frick, NATURE?!

      Reply

  8. Christine

    I am 47, and have a J.D., and I still have the disappearing high school diploma dream. I also have the disappearing B.A. dream, and the disappearing J.D. dream. Sometimes I dream that I am taking some sort of a college class and that I haven’t been to class once during the term, and I don’t know why I’m taking the class because I am still a lawyer and I still have my job, and I don’t have time to take a class anyway, but if I don’t figure out a way to pass the test I am going to get fired and they are going to strip me of my law degree. Academic stress dreams are a thing that unites humanity.

    Reply

  9. Ashley

    I look like I have taken a shower after pretty much most of my workouts so I feel your pain. I also have the repeating high school dream and it FREAKS ME THE HELL OUT. I think it’s mostly because I hated high school and it truly would be a nightmare to have to go back. Now college–take me back to college any day!

    Reply

    • Words for Worms

      College was a pretty good time. In my back to college dreams though, I’ve forgotten all semester that I’m enrolled in a particular class and it’s too late to drop it… Then I completely destroy my GPA at the last possible moment…

      Reply

  10. Merete

    Not an excessive weather myself, I can totally see where you’re coming from. My infliction is that my face gets really red, really fast. As in tomato after a few minutes of workout. And it lasts for hours on end after the workout, so I really have to plan my social life around that.

    Reply

  11. JoulesDellinger

    I’m not a big sweat-er, but I do get BRIGHT RED and stay that way when I work out. This is why I can’t work out in the morning before work, because for the first half of the day I’d have to deal with, “oh my god, are you okay?!” over and over again…

    Reply

  12. Lyssapants

    Dude, when I have a particularly hard session with a client, or when I have a client who challenges me mucho, I end up with stinky stress-sweat. Yuck.

    Reply

  13. Sarah Says Read

    LOL you poor thing. I’m sure no one notices! It might be one of those things that we focus on in our heads but other people haven’t noticed.

    I feel like I sweat a normal amount when I work out (well, NOW – when I started, I sweated way too early and too much because I wasn’t used to it, lol). But I DO get red-face after a work out. Seriously, my face looks like a tomato, even 10 minutes later. It’s so weird.

    Reply

  14. PinotNinja

    All that sweat means you’re working hard, probably harder than those gym bunnies who just look fit, and you should be proud! Or, at least that’s what I tell myself while I am frantically toweling off my mat, and the wood floor surrounding my mat, throughout yoga class because I am dripping everywhere. I accidentally waterboarded myself once while I was in wheel pose. That was a special moment.

    Reply

  16. Yamika

    Okay this might sound weird but I kind of envy you. I barely sweat which is great when I’m in a hurry and have to arrive at an interview or a date looking prim but it’s getting embarrassing at the gym. I constantly have to defend myself after class because no one believes I did enough work. The guy who takes the class remains skeptical about my lack of ‘warrior juice.’ (his words) I sometimes feel the need to dumb my drinking water on my head at the end of class in order to blend in.

    Reply

  18. Teresa

    I never comment on blogs, really. I just found yours today and am loving it. Thanks! But I HAD to comment. A) I, too, am a “sweater.” I can be doused in flop sweat just from getting nervous. It’s unfortunate. (have you tried Certain Dri deoderant? It works amazingly well for mega sweat, you put it on at night. unfortunately, you can’t rub it everywhere.) B) I am 38 years old and my natural hair color has gone from dark brown to almost completely silver. I have skipped gray entirely. C) I have dreams all the time about being in college and finding out I didn’t actually graduate from high school or that my BS is void because I hadn’t finished high school!

    Reply

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