Happy Tuesday, Bookworms!
It’s been an age since I participated in a Top Ten Tuesday with The Broke and the Bookish. Me and my lazy pants blogging haven’t been feeling up to the challenge. Today’s topic is a freebie, though, and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to put together my highlight reel for the Potter Binge! I’m going to list out my favorite notes from each of my eleven Potter posts. I like breaking rules, okay? And because I can’t contain myself, I’m adding additional commentary in bold.
- If Hagrid is allergic to cats, does that mean he can’t be around Professor McGonagall? Or perhaps only when she’s a cat? Are animagi hypoallergenic? This mystery has yet to be solved. (Original Post)
- Who does wizard laundry if house elves can’t handle clothes? I have a hard time imagining Narcissa Malfoy scrubbing anyone’s under drawers… This has been bothering me for years. Yes, I am sure laundry spells are a thing, but so are cooking spells and cleaning spells, yet Wizarding families keep House Elves anyway. A weird tweet to JK Rowling was not answered, not that I expected it would be. I may never have closure. (Original Post)
- I GET that Snape hated James, but what kind of person bad mouths an orphan’s parents to their face? Seriously douchey move, Snape. Probably why I can barely muster any sympathy for the man. Ever. Besides. Everyone knows that the best revenge is making the child of your enemy think you’re cool. Duh. I stand by this statement. Making the children of your enemies think that you are awesome is, indeed, the best revenge. Way to muck it up, Snape. (Original Post)
- When you have to be kept alive by milking your enormous horcrux snake, you should question your life choices. (Cough, cough, VOLDEMORT.) Seriously, could your method of survival BE any grosser? (Original Post)
- I want the prefect’s bathroom in my house. Minus Myrtle the voyeur. The hazards of teenage ghosts, I guess. Though speaking of bathrooms, why is this one so far away? I know it’s just for the prefects, but it seems inconveniently located. They’ve got to have toilets in the dorms somewhere, don’t they? I mean, since students aren’t technically allowed out at night and all? This thought contributes to my deep and abiding concern that ghosts may be watching me shower. This is in no way helped by the very dearly departed Alan Rickman’s commentary on the subject in Dogma. (Original Post)
- This has been bugging me for a while now, but why all the handshaking? Like, Lupin sees Harry for the first time in a year and is all “let me shake your hand like we don’t actually have feelings.” I hug the children of my dear friends ALL THE TIME and usually give them a big fat smooch on the cheek to boot. Granted, the oldest of them is 7, but still. Prepare yourself, Jack, Crazy Aunt Katie is going to be hugging you until forever. Are British people just less huggy? Is it a guy thing? Teen angst Harry needs more hugs, guys, and Mrs. Weasley, Hermione, and Hagrid can’t be expected to do all the hugging. (So far, the only three Harry huggers I’ve noticed. But big props to Hagrid who apparently doesn’t buy into non-sentimental machismo.) So, Sirius eventually gives Harry a one-armed hug and Lupin hugs Harry when he asks him to be Teddy’s Godfather. They both die shortly thereafter. That’s enough to give anyone a complex. (Original Post)
- Dear Dumbledore, Sirius was many things, but he was not the closest thing to a parent Harry ever had. That honor belongs to MOLLY WEASLEY. #TeamMolly Despite any flaws Molly may have had, she was certainly the most parental figure in Harry’s life. Sirius was awesome, but he so often treated Harry like his long lost BFF James that he wasn’t especially fatherly. (Original Post)
- The tale of the Gaunts is so utterly troubling. Generations of cousins marrying cousins is never a good idea. Science affects wizard kind, too, and that concentration of genes is never a good thing. I mean, look at the royal families of Europe. We actually studied that family tree as an example of the inheritance patter of hemophelia in biology. I didn’t really want to google the consequences of inbreeding on mental health, but I’m sure it’s a terrible idea. All that aside, though, I can’t help but assume that Merope and Morfin did not attend Hogwarts. I’ve stated before that wizard kind could seriously use a social services department, but I don’t think either child would have been so thoroughly broken had they spent large swaths of their childhoods out from under the thumb of their fanatical father. They’d have had the option to stay at school during holidays and likely would have made friends that would have offered them some respite during the summer months. And even if they had to suffer through summers and holidays with the man, once they were of age they’d have been independent enough to break free, get jobs, and stop living in crazytown. Also, how would homeschooling work in the wizarding world? The reasonable restriction for underage magic was written in 1875 (I looked that up) so how would the Gaunt children have been able to perform spells outside of school? I wonder if there’s some sort of waiver… Hmmmm… I’m more than a little long winded with some of these soliloquies. SorryNotSorry. (Original Post)
- “You thought I would not wish to marry him, or perhaps you hoped? What do I care how he looks? I am good-looking enough for both of us, I think. All these scars show is that my husband is brave.” And with that, Fleur cements her place in my heart. And Molly’s, apparently. (Yeah, yeah, I took out the accented spelling. I was listening to the books because JIM DALE is the man and I didn’t feel like looking up Fleur’s accented speech.) Honestly, this was probably the only thing Rowling could have done to make Fleur less annoying. I’m surprised at how genial her family turns out to be when they visit for the wedding. (Original Post)
- Ugh. FIGURES Umbridge would end up with a horcrux as a friggin accessory. That woman. And stealing Mad Eye’s magical eye?! What the what? You’re grave robbing now? That’s just gross. Given the massive body count in this book, I can’t say I’m not disappointed that Umbridge wasn’t among the dead. I can’t even think of her name without scrunching up my nose in distaste. It’s involuntary. She’s just that bad! (Original Post)
- Voldemort had a serious case of James Bond villain syndrome. He and Harry have quite a long conversation before either attempts to cast a spell, most of it Voldemort posturing and over-explaining himself. Why don’t you just throw Harry into a tank of sharks with frickin laser beams on their foreheads? I realize that Voldemort’s speeches serve to provide some closure and explanations, but you’ve got to wonder why a dude who was so into murder would stall so dang much. (Original Post)
Alright, I promise that’s my last Potter Binge post. Probably. Thanks for bearing with me, I had the best time. I’m sure I’ll read the books again (and again, and again…) but this free form blogging thing? SO much fun.
Talk to me, Bookworms! What is your theory on wizard laundry? Apparently JK just doesn’t want us to know.
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