I simply cannot leave us hanging before the holidays in the middle of a book! Especially not Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix. No siree. We are carrying along with the Potter Binge (hosted by The Estella Society, of course) as we hang our stockings by the chimney with care, people! Here are my spoiler-iffic thoughts on revisiting Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix, Part 2.
- The Hagid/Madam Maxime romance is hugely adorable. Pun intended.
- Where does Professor Grubbly-Plank go when Hagrid comes back? She can’t have a regular job, can she? Nobody can take two months off with no notice, can they? Unless they’re one of those women who didn’t know they were pregnant. Then I suppose you’d have to let them because maternity leave, but you’d be lacking the notice because the baby just like appeared and everyone was shocked. I’ve been assured this really does happen, despite my skepticism.
- Thestrels! It breaks my heart that Neville can see them. Hasn’t that boy been through enough?!
- Oh man. Harry and Cho’s kiss. Harry’s internal monologue. That Rowling speaks to my awkward teenage self in a way that no other YA author has.
- I love when Ginny calls Harry out for being a mopey prat when he thinks he’s being possessed by Voldemort after the whole snake attack thing. She’s like “DUDE. You know I was possessed by Voldemort, you’d think you’d ask someone who knows, but nooooo you decide to get your angst on. Snap out of it!” I’m paraphrasing, but still.
- “God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs” is my new favorite Christmas carol.
- Sirius gave Harry a brief one-armed hug when he left to go back to school. Better than a handshake, I guess, but c’mon. The boy needs more hugs. You’re his Godfather, dude, bear hugs!
- Headless hats. Fred and George are creative geniuses.
- Fact: Umbridge bans Quibbler containing Harry’s Interview. Fact: Hermione is gleeful because… FACT: Banning books will only encourage more people to read them. Bazinga.
- I love when McGonagall comforts Trelawney even though she thinks Trelawney is a huge fraud. She’s kind and compassionate, and if it pisses off Umbridge, all the better.
- OMG Harry. PAY ATTENTION IN OCCLUMENCY! I can’t even with you sometimes.
- Learning that one’s parents aren’t perfect is an important lesson, but a pretty big bummer to boot. Actually SEEING your father in one of his rotten moments must have really sucked. Makes me glad there’s no way for my eventual children to see all of my stupidity in stark relief.
- Give her hell for us, Peeves. Amen to that, Fred and George. Spectacular exit, BTW.
- Hagrid is too big a softy for his own good. Ooooh the Grawp affair.
- These kids taking their O.W.L.s gives me mad ACT flashbacks.
- Egg cups doing cartwheels? Vanishing iguanas? Turning ferrets into flamingos? This sounds like way more fun than calculus.
- Note to self: never call a Centaur “half-breed.” Actually, never call anything a “half-breed.” Ever. It’s incredibly rude in any context.
- Umbridge deserved every minute of her Centaur beatdown.
- Luna rides her Thestrel side saddle. Because of course.
- The baby headed Death Eater always freaks me out.
- Does Lupin’s forcible restraint of Harry as the tries to get to Sirius through the veil count as a hug?
- WHAT IS THE VEIL?! Is it a portal to the other side? Did it always exist and they built the Ministry around it? Is it just something the Dept. of Mysteries conjured up? It’s so… MYSTERIOUS.
- Harry’s discovery of the two way mirrors breaks my heart. If he’d used that he wouldn’t have had to borrow Umbridge’s fire and Sirius would have had it on him and… I can’t even.
- Dear Harry, breaking things doesn’t bring our loved ones back.
- Dear Dumbledore, Sirius is many things, but he is not the closest thing to a parent Harry has ever had. That honor belongs to MOLLY WEASLEY. #TeamMolly
- Ooooh the ghost conundrum. So philosophical. Although I am a little disappointed that only wizards can become ghosts. I had high hopes for haunting.
- Ravenclaw, I am disappointed in us for bullying Luna by hiding her things. You’re better than that.
- The Order showing up at King’s Cross to threaten the Dursleys into behaving well is nice and all, but why didn’t they think of doing something like that sooner? Ah well. At least it’s a teeny bit of cheering up for poor Harry in his time of grief. And he got more hugs from Molly, so it’s all going to be OK. I notice Lupin still hasn’t broken down and officially hugged the boy. Remus, I’m disappointed in you, and I WILL be paying attention in the next two installments.
For heaven’s sake. Even breaking these books into pieces I’m getting wordier and wordier with my reactions. In my defense, the themes deserve more discussion. I mean, DEATH? Life after death? The philosophical implications are staggering. All right y’all. Break it down. Tell me your thoughts on THE VEIL.
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Bwahahaha! I think this is my least favorite HP book. Harry is just so WHINY! And teenager-y and selfish! I know that’s the point, but it doesn’t mean I have to enjoy reading about it. Also, I will say Umbridge is a much worse villain that Voldemort. Hands down. That woman is all sorts of wrong because she honestly does not see the damage she causes.
Re: The “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant” people. I also maintained that there was just no effin’ way that was possible, until my friend told me that one’s uterus can be tilted in such a way that you really can’t feel any of those kicks. She said she could be at an ultrasound watching the baby kicking like mad, and she couldn’t feel a thing and never did.
Grubbly Plank was the Care of Magical Creatures professor before Hagrid – the one who “retired while still in possession of most of her limbs” (I’m paraphrasing)…so I imagine she just went back to retirement. I consider Umbridge for more evil than Voldemort. She took pleasure in the pain of others – purely sadistic.
Words For Worms
I just looked it up- the prof pre-Hagrid was Professor Kettleburn, and he was missing limbs. The mystery of Grubbly Plank lives on!