Hello my Darling Bookworms!
We’ve reached the midpoint in the glorious Harry Potter Re-Readalong with The Estella Society. I’m working my way through Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire. Now. As you are all aware (I assume, because HARRY POTTER) after Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (review) the books start getting a lot longer. Because my audio book files were split into pieces, I’m going to do my reactions to the remaining books in two parts a piece. It seems fitting as I want to discuss all the things and I’d feel the need to edit myself if I tried to review the whole darn thing in one go. Fasten your Firebolts, people, we’re doing this.
- When you have to be kept alive by milking your enormous horcrux snake, you should question your life choices. (Cough, cough, VOLDEMORT.)
- I really hate Dudley but I get unreasonably sad for him when he’s put on that diet. Diets are hard, Dudders. I get it.
- I will NEVER block up my fireplace. Aside from it being lovely and adorable, you never know. Floo Network, FTW!
- Fudge’s encounter with the Bulgarian Prime Minister makes me feel better about being monolingual. It’s pretty hilarious that the Bulgarian PM pretended not to speak English all day just so that Fudge would keep playing charades to get his point across. You’d think there would be some sort of translating spell, though. Maybe there is and Fudge is too pompous to learn it. Seems like a very Fudge move.
- Wizards are TERRIBLE at secrets! Good heavens every single person EVER hinted at the tournament. It makes me question the Potters’ decision to employ the secret keeper charm in the first place. Obviously it was a tragic mistake to trust Pettigrew, but Sirius was so bombastic and ridiculous, you know he’d have been waving the “I know something you don’t know” carrot in front of the Death Eater’s noses. They must reeeeeeeeeeeeeeally have been out of options.
- There is no better moment than when (fake) Moody turns Malfoy into a ferret. But it begs the question. McGonagall can turn into a tabby cat, and a tabby cat is also her patronus. Do you think Moody’s spell specifically demanded he turn into a ferret, or the animal his personality most mimicked? What I really want to know is if Malfoy’s patronus is a ferret. If it is indeed a ferret, do you think that if it were to fight Mr. Weasley’s weasel patronus it would lose? Weasels seem scrappier than ferrets for sure, but a Malfoy ferret would fight dirty. My money is on Weasley’s weasel to win the day. Say that 5 times fast.
- The Beauxbatons horses only drink single malt whiskey and baby dragons need whiskey and chicken blood… Are all magical creatures lushes?
- For a teacher who wants to spend as little time with Harry as possible, Snape doesn’t go light on the detentions. Isn’t it also a punishment for him to have to spend more time with Harry and Ron? Or is it fun because he can torment them? I wouldn’t know, I’m not that mean. Ugh.
- Rita Skeeter or Gilderoy Lockhart: Who is more annoying?
And there we have it, Bookworms! The first half of Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire! Have y’all been enjoying the Harry Potter binge? I know I have!
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