The Remedy by Thomas Goetz

Hello Bookworms,

It’s Monday again (how does this keep happening?!) The good news? You don’t have tuberculosis. (I hope.) Yes, folks, I just finished reading some of the germiest non-fiction this side of the 20th century, and it was fascinating. I don’t read a lot of non-fiction, but when I was offered a copy of The Remedy: Robert Koch, Arthur Conan Doyle, and the Quest to Cure Tuberculosis by Thomas Goetz, I knew I had to give it a shot. I received a complimentary copy of this book from the publisher in exchange for an honest review. Honesty rules.

theremedyThe Remedy: Robert Koch, Arthur Conan Doyle, and the Quest to Cure Tuberculosis begins with Dr. Robert Koch hacking off limbs during the Franco-Prussian War. Dr. Koch, among others, began to realize that some of the post-surgical infections they’d been encountering could be prevented… You know. If the medical staff washed their hands. Germ theory was fledgling and had plenty of detractors who still insisted on sticking leeches to people to balance their humors. Gross, right?

You know what else everybody did that was super gross? Spit all over the place. Back in the day, hawking loogies in public was a fact of life. People were just barely starting to understand germ theory (thanks to scientists like Koch and his frenemy Pasteur) so nobody thought about spreading disease with all the spitting. It was the perfect environment for the breeding and transmission of one of humanity’s oldest foes, Tuberculosis.

TB was no joke. It accounted for something like a third of all deaths, and nobody could quite pin down how it was transmitted or how to treat it. Dr. Koch’s research into Tuberculosis allowed him to identify the microbe that caused TB, which was a huge breakthrough. Shortly after this discovery, Koch claimed to have discovered a cure. A CURE FOR CONSUMPTION! A miracle!

Enter Dr. Arthur Conan Doyle. You may know him as “Sir” and the creator of Sherlock Holmes, but Conan Doyle was first a doctor. He was fascinated by germ theory and Dr. Koch’s experiments. Dr. Conan Doyle made the trek to Berlin to observe Koch’s work, but came away troubled. Was this “remedy” indeed curing Tuberculosis, or was it little more than snake oil?

The Remedy: Robert Koch, Arthur Conan Doyle, and the Quest to Cure Tuberculosis was an enjoyable read. I learned all sorts of gross medical details and scientific tidbits. I never realized just how widespread TB had been, or how recently the medical field was revolutionized by germ theory. Very interesting stuff. For me there was a slight drawback, though. Because this book was so chock full of science and factoids and microscopes, it took me quite a bit longer to read than my typical fictional fare. I think it was just a lot more to absorb for my atrophied brain. In any case, it was a good read, ESPECIALLY if scientific non-fiction is your thing.

Tell me Bookworms… Do any of you find you read non-fiction more slowly than fiction? 

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission.*

Raindrops on Roses and Whiskers on Kittens: My Favorite Things Party!

Greetings Bookworms!

You know how I’m always raving about my IRL book club, My Neighbors Are Better Than Your Neighbors? I’m about to rave some more.  This month, in addition to our discussion of Reconstructing Amelia (my review) we decided to do a “My Favorite Things” party. We took a page out of the old Oprah handbook and decided to share stuff we love with each other. Each member purchased enough of her “favorite things” for everyone attending.

myfavoritethingsparty

Smile for the Internet, ladies!

Fun right?! Since none of us live on Oprah’s budget, we couldn’t go around buying everyone cars. We decided to cap the spending limit on each favorite thing to $10. Each participating member purchased 6 of her favorite $10 things to share, and got 6 of the other’s favorites in return. Soooo… You wanna know what we love, right?!

  • “A” is a big fan of bubble baths, so she hooked us all up with some delightful Ulta bubble bath… But what bubble bath is complete without Ghirardelli chocolate squares? No bubble bath I want to be a part of, I’ll tell you that much. Aaaand because our book club apparently has a severe lip balm addiction (more on this later), she added a tube of Burt’s Bees to the stash.
  • “C” is super adorable right now, with her teeny tiny baby bump. One of her favorite things was a colorful paring knife. (Don’t piss off the pregnant lady, she will cut you!) She also included a big old Ghirardelli chocolate bar, because, well. Chocolate. (I should probably mention that “C” is pretty much the sweetest gal ever, she would not, in fact, cut anyone. That’s part of why it makes me giggle so much, her tiny-ness and her Southern accent… The idea of her wielding a knife against anything other than a vegetable is pretty hilarious.)
  • “K” hosted this shindig in style! Her choice of favorite thing is a set of wine sealers- they seal out the air and keep the leftover wine fresh! Because leftover wine… That’s a thing… I think? Seriously though, these ROCK.

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  • “E” is as big a flower nerd as I am, so I wasn’t surprised she brought in something that grows. Her favorite thing was lucky bamboo, which is the most difficult house plant to kill. I swear. Leave it in a vase with water and it will live FOR-E-VER. I’ve had a stalk in my office since 2006, yo!
  • “M” loves her some lip balm, as do the rest of us. Her choice of favorite thing was a 4 pack of Burt’s Bees lip balm. As luck would have it, nothing in the 4 pack was the same scent as the tube “A” brought everyone, because variety in lip balm? That’s like getting a new pack-o-Lip Smackers when you’re 13. (Or 30… Joules sent me a set of Disney Princess Lip Smackers last year for my birthday that I use on the regular.Un-ironically.)
  • “J” is all about the hidden talents. She’s a flipping scientist (no lie) who plays the harp, sews, and knits like a boss. She knitted each of us a little blue bag made of THE SOFTEST YARN EVER. (I think she said it was silk bamboo yarn, but I’m no yarn expert.) It took her a week to knit each one, which shocks me because it’s got some really impressive fancy stitches going on. Girl’s got skills. She also included a container of Bath & Body Works foaming hand soap, which THRILLS me, because that’s the only hand soap we use in the Gingerbread House.
  • Oh yes. And then there’s ME, isn’t there? Well. I love having fancy finger nails. I’m not great with the fine motor skills, so I suck pretty hard at painting my nails. It doesn’t stop me, but sometimes I want my nails to look great and artsy. When I do, I bust out some Sally Hansen nail polish strips and go to town with the nail art, so I brought a package for everyone. I also included an EOS lip balm (I told you we have a problem) because I’m OBSESSED with it.

Have you ever done anything not-so-bookish with your book club? I want to hear all about it, Bookworms! Spill!

*I linked to some of our favorite things on Amazon, in case you want to check them out. I’m not sure I got everything perfectly right, but I tried. If you decide to buy anything I’ll get a small commission, but mostly I just want to push lip balm at you. LIP BALM!*

Frog Music by Emma Donoghue

Hey There Bookworms,

I loooove me some Emma Donoghue. You might remember that from me going on and on about Room (review) and Astray (review), so it won’t surprise you to hear that when I found out Emma Donoghue had a new book on the horizon, I had to get my grubby little hands on it. I typically get the books I review (at least as far as ARC’s go) through Netgalley or publisher pitches. This is the first book I’ve ever reached out to the publisher and downright begged for. Luckily, the very sweet representative from Little, Brown, & Company obliged me and sent me an advanced copy of Frog Music. (Thanks Meghan!) *Even though I’m super grateful that I was sent a free copy of this book, my review will remain honest and whatnot. But for heaven’s sake, it’s an Emma Donoghue, it’s not like it was going to suck anyway.*

frogmusic

Frog Music takes place in 1876 San Francisco. Blanche is a French circus performer turned burlesque dancer/prostitute living the Bohemian life with her  layabout paramour and his buddy. The city is in the grips of a record breaking heatwave AND a smallpox epidemic. After a short acquaintance with the enigmatic Jenny Bonnet, Blanche’s world is rocked when Jenny is shot dead through the window of a railway saloon. (That’s not a spoiler, y’all, it’s like the first scene.)

Jenny Bonnet was a heck of a character. She was repeatedly arrested for wearing pants. Yup, back the day, dressing in “men’s clothing” was grounds for arrest. Crazy, right? Jenny was a frog catcher by trade. She delivered these frogs to San Francisco’s many French restaurants. Because frog legs are tasty… To people who aren’t me. (I don’t much care for them, but to each their own, I say!)

And Blanche? Absolutely fascinating. I don’t know why I’m always so enthralled by tales of prostitutes, but they’re all so dang varied and interesting. The girl ran away to join the circus, emigrated to the US, and became one of the most successful (ahem) entertainers in San Francisco. Her friendship with Jenny put Blanche’s life on a completely new trajectory in ways Blanche never saw coming.

The craziest thing about this story? It’s TRUE! Well, it’s based on a true story, and I read the author’s notes at the end- this novel was very thoroughly researched. Jenny Bonnet was indeed a woman murdered in 1876 San Francisco. She was in the company of Blanche, a burlesque dancing prostitute. Her murder was never officially solved, though the list of suspects was not short. Was it an enemy of Blanche? An enemy of Jenny? A random drunk who liked shooting people through windows? Very mysterious.

You guys, this book was AWESOME. I could not put it down, I simply had to know all the sordid details of Blanche and Jenny’s lives. I had to know about the smallpox epidemic sweeping the city. I also had to get a visual image of Jenny’s Highwheeler bicycle (though I prefer the term “Penny-Farthing” to describe the contraption.) Can you imagine trying to ride that thing?

File courtesy Wikimedia Commons, author Dave Hogg.

Photo courtesy Wikimedia Commons, author Dave Hogg.

Tell me, Bookworms. Is there a particular type of character you’re drawn to in books? Am I the only one who is absolutely enthralled by ladies of the night? (In a non-sexual, purely literary sort of way. It’s hard to talk about hookers without sounding pervy.)

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission.*

Gateway Drugs… I Mean Books: Top Ten Tuesday

Greetings, Bookworms!

It’s April Fool’s Day, but I kind of hate pranks (mostly because I’m extremely gullible and ALWAYS fall for them.) Soooo instead of doing something foolish, I’m going to get listy with it and join the ladies of The Broke and the Bookish with a fabulous topic. This week they have asked us to list out books that were a “gateway” for us. A gateway into reading, a gateway into a new genre, whatever. Fun right?! Let’s do this.

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1. Gateway to Time Travel: The Time Traveler’s Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. I wouldn’t have thought I would be into time travel, but The Time Traveler’s Wife completely blew my mind. It’s one of the reasons I was open to reading Outlander, and life would have been tragic had it gone any other way.

2. Gateway to Dystopian Fiction: The Giver by Lois Lowry. My fifth grade teacher read this to my class and it was incredible. I read it again as an adult and it was still amazing. A world where you cannot see color?! Crazy! (My review)

3. Gateway to Sweet Southern Fried Fiction: Welcome to the World, Baby Girl! by Fannie Flagg. My mom loaned me this book along with what turned out to be one of my favorite Fannie Flagg novels, Can’t Wait to Get to Heaven. I was hooked on the feel-good Southern wonder of it all!

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4. Gateway to Margaret Atwood (she should be her own category!): The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (obviously.) I read this for the first time for a college class. It was mind-blowingly awesome, and I’ve been a sucker for Atwood ever since! (my review)

5. Gateway to Hist-ART-ical Fiction: The Virgin Blue by Tracy Chevalier. I absolutely adore historical fiction with an art focus, and I put the blame for that addiction squarely on the shoulders of Tracy Chevalier.

6. Gateway to ZOMBIES: World War Z by Max Brooks. In fairness, The Walking Dead (the TV show) was my gateway drug to all things zombie, but this was the first zombie novel I read. It was absolutely delightful. (My review)

don't say i didn't warn you

7. Gateway to Classics: The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain. I read this book in high school, after a string of novels that had me convinced that all classics were painful to read. I was surprised to find myself enjoying the required reading. It was wonderful!

8. Gateway to Classic British Lady Writers: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. This was another assigned book I read in high school, and again I was surprised how much I loved it. It was like a fancy old timey soap opera. It opened the door to all sorts of wonderful classics written by British women. Fantastic.

9. Gateway to Snarky Memoirs:  Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris. A friend of mine gave me this book for my birthday my freshman year in college? Or was it senior year in high school? I don’t know, I’m old. Anyway, I fell in love with Sedaris and the whole snarky memoir genre. Good times, I tell you!

10. Gateway to Reading for the Heck of it:  Emily’s Runaway Imagination by Beverly Cleary. I read for pleasure as a kid, but this is the first book I remember reading for the heck of it. I was bored one Saturday, and I read the whole book in an afternoon. I was completely enthralled, and I just keep chasing that high…

slippery slope

What are some of your favorite Gateway Drugs Books? Tell me about it, Bookworms!

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission.*

The Fellowship of the Worms: The House Girl

Welcome, Bookworms!

smarty-mcwordypants-199x300It’s that time again. The Fellowship of the Worms is now in session! This month’s selection was The House Girl by Tara Conklin. WARNING: We will be discussing the WHOLE book. This will no doubt include SPOILERS. If you did not read the book and would like to participate, pick up a copy of The House Girl and give it a read. This post will be here waiting for you when you finish. Now that the particulars are out of the way, I’ll remind you of the premise here. I’ll pose questions in bold and answer them in regular type.  If you don’t want your opinions influenced by my rantings, stick to the bold first. Feel free to answer them in the comments, or if you’re so inclined, on your own blog. A linky list will be provided at the end of this post for anybody who has reviewed The House Girl on their own blog, even if it has nothing to do with the following discussion questions. Don’t be shy, please link up!

1. The House Girl is told in a dual narrative, switching back and forth between Lina in modern day NYC and Josephine in 1852 Virginia. In addition to the two major narrators, there are a number of additional characters advancing the story through letters. Did you enjoy the multiple perspectives? Did you find it added or detracted from the story Conklin was trying to tell? 

Personally, I dig the dual (or more) narrative. I like being able to get inside the heads of multiple characters. I thought Conklin did a great job in fleshing out Josephine and Lina’s personalities. Though, if I could lodge one small complaint, it’s that I couldn’t get inside the head of Lu Anne Bell. What a crazy contradiction SHE was. I’m always interested in how people rationalize cruelties to themselves. Given what Lu Anne clearly knew about her husband’s non-consensual relationships with his female slaves, it’s no wonder she seemed to yo-yo between compassion and jealousy when dealing with Josephine.

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2. Do you think that Lu Anne intentionally passed off Josephine’s art work as her own? Do you think she would have done things differently had she known the notoriety the art would eventually garner? 

Lu Anne was a complicated character, I’m a little obsessed with her, since I was thwarted in my desire to get inside her head. The Pollyanna in me doesn’t think that Lu Anne had any idea that the artwork she and Josephine (okay, mostly Josephine) created was going to become famous. Of course, as much as I’d LIKE to think that Lu Anne would have taken steps to ensure proper credit was given had she known what was going to become of the art, I doubt she would have changed her actions. The product of her shameful environment, that one.

3. Lina is the daughter of the artsiest artists in all the land, and yet she chose to pursue a career in law. What in her upbringing to you think helped spur her decision to choose a career so based in reason? 

Lina’s upbringing was never quite stable. When it was just Lina and Oscar, their existence always seemed precarious. I think Lina’s choice of career was based in part on the desire to have some financial security (I can’t blame her for that!) I also think there was an element of rebellion there… She sort of goes Alex P. Keaton and rebels against her artsy upbringing by going corporate. (If you’re too young to get my Family Ties joke, get thee to the CBS.com. Full episodes!)

4. As a house slave, Josephine walks a lonely road. How does her unique status contribute to her desire to run? 

Poor Josephine! Because she was tasked with domestic duties, she was separated from the field workers. However, being in the house didn’t mean that she was a part of the family- she was still a slave, for heaven’s sake. She was stuck in this crappy middle ground trying to muddle through. Yes, she had relationships with Lottie and a few others, but Josephine was still separate. Oh, yeah. And being in the house only made it easier for her master to make his nocturnal visits- that sure as heck wasn’t a perk. Loneliness, prolonged sexual abuse, and, uh, being property? Yep. Seems like enough motivation to get out of Dodge to me!

5. How did you feel when Oscar dropped the bombshell about what really happened to Lina’s mother Grace?

What I want to know is how this was even possible. I know Grace told Oscar to tell everyone she’d died, but COME ON. It can’t be that easy to disappear! Wouldn’t people be suspicious that there was no funeral or memorial service? Maybe artsy people don’t do funerals? The whole thing seemed really weird to me. I’m glad Oscar came clean and gave Lina her mom’s contact information, but sheesh! What would you even SAY to your fake dead mother?! I can’t even.

Tell me your thoughts, Bookworms! How did you feel about The House GirlPlease link up if you’re so inclined! 

Any Way the Wind Blows: An Idiosyncratic Lit LIst

Howdy Bookworms,

I like word games. Sometimes I’ll sit and gaze at my “read” list on Goodreads and think of how books with similar titles can be so incredibly different. I thought it might be fun to come up with a list around a word, so I went and picked one. Let’s talk about WIND!

any way the wind blows

1. Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. Mmmm historical fiction. Yeah, so I kind of wanted to smack Scarlett most of the time, but I loved this book anyway.

2. The Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafón. This is a super cool murky mystery set in Spain. It was a Fellowship of the Worms selection (you can see the discussion here) so you know it had to be good. Adding to its cool factor? It was a book about books. How can you not love that?

3. The Name of the Wind by Patrick Rothfuss. I like some fantasy from time to time, and this is JUST my kind of fantasy adventure. Magic plus medieval-ish times plus friggin lutes? Um, yes. Yes, I will read that.

4. A Leaf on the Wind of All Hallows by Diana Gabaldon. This is a tasty little novella that fits into the Outlander universe. It’s Roger’s parents’ story. When I read it, it didn’t QUITE satisfy my Outlander craving, but really, nothing short of Jamie and Claire can do that.

Wind took us from a Spanish book mystery to Civil War era Georgia to a fantasy adventure romp to a time travel romance extravaganza. So yeah. Wind, y’all! Do you have a favorite for the Wind Collection? 

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission.*

Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight

Hidey Ho, Bookworms!

Remember last month when I got all philosophical about choosing a book for book club because last month’s selection in my neighborhood book club (cleverly named My Neighbors Are Better Than Your Neighbors) hit a sour note? You can click HERE if you’re interested. But you’ll be happy to know that this month’s selection worked out infinitely better for me. This month we read Reconstructing Amelia by Kimberly McCreight, and WHOA.

ReconstructingAmelia hc c.JPGKate is a high powered lawyer living with her teenage daughter Amelia in Brooklyn. Kate has raised Amelia on her own since unexpectedly finding herself pregnant in law school. Kate has done her best to balance her career and single motherhood, though she feels guilty much of the time that her career has won out. When she’s called to Amelia’s hoity toity private school in the middle of an important meeting, she is frustrated. The situation that awaits her is more tragic than she ever imagined. Amelia fell to her death from the school’s roof.

Because dealing with the death of your child isn’t horrifying enough, Kate begins to get mysterious text messages saying that her daughter didn’t commit suicide. Kate embarks on a journey into investigating what was going on in her daughter’s life leading up to her untimely demise and what she uncovers is a whole lot more than she bargained for.

The hoity toity private school is a hotbed of elitism, secret societies, bullying, and all kinds of psychological warfare. Reading about this school, I have never been so grateful to have been raised thoroughly middle class. I went to high school where nobody gave a crap. Seriously. Heck, my school could barely even muster the energy for a traditional social hierarchy, never mind an elaborate set of secret social clubs.

As you probably know, psychological thrillers and murder mysteries aren’t typically my jam, but the addition of the scandalous school elements, really sucked me in. Two thumbs up, kiddos!

Alright Bookworms, I’ve got to know. Was your high school experience ANYTHING like what you’ve seen in pop culture?

*If you make a purchase through a link on this site, I will receive a small commission.*

Top Ten Tuesday: My Bookish Bucket List

Happy Tuesday Bookworms!

The ladies of The Broke and the Bookish this week have tasked is with a doozy of a list. They have asked us what items are on our Bookish Bucket List. I haven’t honestly given this topic a whole lot of thought in the past, but I can put one together. I mean, why in the heck not?

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1. Go to The Wizarding World of Harry Potter at Universal Studios. I’m super super jealous of the trip Jen at The Relentless Reader just went on! (Check out the details here!)

2. Attend BEA one of these years. I believe 2016 will be in Chicago. Who’s going with me?

3. Do something OUTLANDISH! With the show coming out this summer and my over-the-top love for all things Jamie and Claire, I think it would be fun to do something inspired by Outlander. The only problem is that, uh, most OUTLANDISH activities are kind of gross. I mean, I GUESS I could give someone a black eye and then stick a leech on the bruise to reduce the swelling, but ewwwww. Plus, you know. Assault is frowned upon in polite company.

Hello, gorgeous. I can't wait to read you!

Hello, gorgeous. I can’t wait to read you!

4. Meet another book blogger! I’ve got some AMAZING blog friends that I’ve met in real life, but none of them are book-specific bloggers. It’d be nice to meet one of these crazies face-to-face, you know?

5. Increase the traffic Words for Worms gets. That’s not so much a bucket list item as an ongoing thing, but it’s my list. I can make it vague if I want to.

6. Go to a book signing. You guys. I live in the middle of nowhere. We don’t have amazing authors coming into town all the time. The last signing I wanted to go to was totally within driving distance, but on a weeknight. The full time job is a blessing, but occasionally inconvenient. Thankfully, Quirky Chrissy and the amazing Bloggess were able to make my dreams come true from afar. (The whole story is HERE if you’re interested.)

Luckily, my friend was able to make it so I was practically THERE.

Luckily, my friend was able to make it so I was practically THERE.

7. Start a meme. I know, it sounds ridiculous, but I think Top Ten Tuesday is super fun and I’d like to come up with something as awesome. Of course, I’ve been toying with the idea for quite a while and I’m still lacking a concept. Ah well. Bucket lists aren’t supposed to be realistic.

8. Visit some bookish locales! How fun would it be to go to Scotland to get my Outlander on? Or, what about chilling on Prince Edward Island and getting in touch with my inner Anne (with an E!)

9. Throw a book themed party. This one might actually get off the ground. My IRL book club has a member expecting a teeny tiny bookworm! Bookish baby shower, anyone?

10. Read EVERYTHING on my bookshelf. Everything. That includes all those classics I purchased while feeling ambitious only to allow them to languish on the shelves…

What about you, Bookworms? Do you have a Bookish Bucket List? What’s on it? 

Looking for Alaska by John Green

Greetings, Bookworms!

I turned 31 this weekend. The fact does not thrill me. In order to combat the “I’m getting old” blues, I thought it would be a good time to write about some YA fiction I read recently. My body may be aging but my mind can remain immature indefinitely, right? I ADORED The Fault in Our Stars (my review), but when I went on to read An Abundance of Katherines (my review) I got all cranky and decided to take a break from John Green. Now that a reasonable amount of time has passed, I thought it would be safe to give Green another shot and read Looking for Alaska.

lookingforalaskaMiles is a typical tall, lanky, invisible teenage boy living in Florida. Because his social prospects are so grim, he decides to pursue attending boarding school at his father’s alma mater in Alabama for the remainder of his high school career.

Shortly after his arrival on campus, Miles discovers what he’s been missing. He is quickly dubbed “Pudge” (ironically of course) by his roommate “The Colonel,” and accepted into his crew of misfits. Cigarettes, booze, and the quintessential “manic pixie girl” give Pudge the high school experience he never would have had at home.

Alaska Young is beautiful, smart, and fascinating. She is also moody, mysterious, and self destructive. OBVIOUSLY Miles falls head over heels for her. He’s drawn deeply into her world… And then? Nothing is ever the same.

You know what, Bookworms? I really liked this book. Part teen angst, part cautionary tale,  Looking for Alaska satisfied my hankering for some Young Adult drama. Were there occasions when my old-ness resulted in rolling my eyes at the kids in this book? Definitely. Did it feel even remotely like MY high school experience? No. Although… That’s probably not the worst thing, because, well, there was a lot in this book that I’m glad I didn’t have to live through. In any case, I definitely give Looking for Alaska the green light for the next time you’re looking for a YA fix.

So tell me, Bookworms. Do you feel your age? Sometimes I feel like an old soul, and other times I’m pretty sure I’m still about 14. Anybody else got that age confusion thing going on?

Confession Friday (on Thursday): I’m a TERRIBLE Sick Person

Bookworms, I have a confession to make.

I am THE WORST at being sick. Seriously. The good news is I hardly ever get sick. It’s been a good 2 years since I was last felled by a cold/flu/what-have-you. But dang. This sucks. When I’m sick I want to do nothing at all. Then I want to cry because I’ve done nothing at all. I took a day off work earlier this week because I felt so miserable. And I never take time off. Crazy. Of course, I took my whining to social media, because I’m LIKE THAT.

My tweets don't lie.

My tweets don’t lie.

Here’s a rundown. I started to feel the “I might be getting sick” thing on Friday. I brushed it off and went on my merry way. My friend’s birthday was Friday, so I went bowling (and if you follow my Instagram, you’ll know what a dichotomy of horror/brilliance that was.) Saturday I felt crapalicious, so I stayed in my pajamas and laid around until about 4, when I got showered and cleaned up. I had high hopes the Mexican food I’d be eating with my friend that evening would clear out the sinuses and put me on the road to recovery, but it was not meant to be.

Dirty Kleenex: the Smallpox Blanket of 2014

Dirty Kleenex: the Smallpox Blanket of 2014

Sunday I remained a whiny slug on the couch, sleeping until a million o’clock and THEN taking a nap. Who does that? I mean, except people with LEGIT illnesses, like cancer patients. (Cancer patients, y’all deserve all the sleep you can muster. I do not. Undeserving sleeper right here.) Speaking of which, I’ve never heard of a whiny cancer patient. They’re all about the positive mental attitude and I’m all “OMG, I have  a cold! Waaaaaaaaah!” More evidence that I am a horrible human being.

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Red noses ARE only cute on reindeer.

I’m starting to feel better, thank heaven! This is most likely due to the fact that head colds are super minor and clear up on their own in a few days, but I’m going to give the credit to my husband (who is waaaaaaaaay less whiny when sick than I am. So much for that stereotype.) He remembered that the last time he was sick, I went out and picked up some pseudoephedrine. The REAL stuff they keep behind the counter and put you in the meth suspicion database for. Best idea ever.

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Take THAT, nose!

In summation, I’m a huge whiny baby and a pretty awful person. At least I’m honest… I guess? Anybody else out there want to admit to being a weenie when sick?