Confession Friday: I Talk in My Sleep

Happy Friday, Bookworms! It’s time for confessions! It’s no secret that I love to sleep. I’m convinced that I’m part bear and ought to hibernate through the winter. It doesn’t help that I mysteriously grow this pelt every year…

I only wish I was that cute… Sigh.

Sleep for me is an adventure. I have anxiety dreams practically every night. Sometimes I’m back in college and have missed all the classes but need to sit for an exam. Sometimes I start screaming at work and get fired for being insane (in reality, my job is TOTALLY COOL with me talking to myself all day long.) Sometimes I’m being chased by 15 simultaneous tornadoes. Most often I’m forced to go back to high school… They’ve nullified my diploma due to new state guidelines and I’m required to take hours and hours and hours of gym class to retroactively earn my diploma, but nobody in the front office will listen to me when I explain that I’ve already got a bachelor’s degree…

It’s kind of sad for Jim, because he’s a really light sleeper. He often wakes up to me thrashing and yelling “I was summa cum laude!” Then he wakes me, asks me what I was dreaming about, and reminds me that it wasn’t real. He’s a gem, you know, when he’s not farting in my general direction.

Last night I had back to back nightmares. The first involved me arguing with my sister over who got to sleep in which bedroom in my Grandma’s house. Now, in real life, whenever we stayed at Grandma’s, we had to share a bedroom, so it really made no sense. Also, in real life, the minute we got in the door at Grandma’s, my sister would locate and chase me around with the world’s most terrifying toy monkey…

I have custody of him now. He still frightens me…

Jim woke me up and asked what was wrong. I muttered “fighting with my sister,” rolled over, and went back to sleep. I mumbled and thrashed violently again a short time later. I really have no recollection of this second nightmare, but I do remember telling Jim a “punk kid” was to blame. Yep. I’m an old lady. The words “punk kid” left my semi-conscious lips. Jim claims I only have nightmares at approximately 5 am, but I’m not sure I believe him. As far as my subconscious is concerned, all of my sleeping hours are a jittery ride through Scooby Doo style amusement parks. (And I would’ve gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling punk kids!)

Now you know why I don’t read much Stephen King. My subconscious is jacked up enough WITHOUT filling it with images of evil clowns and child cults. I absolutely ADORE The Walking Dead, but you’d better believe I pay for it in the night time… Or, Jim pays for it in the night time… with braaaaains… My mind is CHAOS, people!

Have any of you had crazy dreams lately? Tell me about it! Don’t make me feel all alone in crazy town!

32 thoughts on “Confession Friday: I Talk in My Sleep

  1. There’s a Stephen King short story featuring that very monkey. Just the memory of the story freaks me out a little. He’s also the reason my closet door must always be closed, even if the closet is on the other side of the bathroom. Then both doors must be closed.

    My crazy dreams are usually set in high school with my BFF, weird dating dreams, or about work. I know it’s time for a vacation if I’m dreaming about work!

      • No, I sure don’t remember the name of the story itself. I’m pretty sure it was one of the short stories in Skeleton Crew though, so if you stay away from the whole book you’ll be safe. I still have nightmares from that book and I read it in high school!

  2. I have the exact same nightmare about having to take an exam when I missed every class. Or sometimes it’s that the exam day was changed but I didn’t know because I had missed every class. Funny how we’ve made it through multiple degrees but our subconscious is still terrified of messing up in school. It’s usually high school, so I also try to convince them that I’ve gotten both a bachelor’s degree and doctorate so obviously I already have a HS diploma and don’t need to take the exams again. They never listen, do they?

    The other day I also dreamed I had a huge fight with my sister, but I don’t remember why we were fighting, just that it was an all-out screaming match. That’s not a recurring dream, it was pretty random, because it was present-day and we actually get along very well (these days…).

    • Oh yes, your response just reminded me! I danced and did some school theater in high school, and sometimes I’ll dream about not knowing my lines or trying to dance in my current shape and not knowing the choreography… I may or may not have a shirt on. High school is seriously emotionally scarring- everyone has high school nightmares! At least you can yell at your high school teachers that you have a PhD- are they any more responsive than my dream meanies?

      • Nope, they still don’t get it!

        And the weird thing for me is, high school wasn’t that traumatizing (not exactly a bowl of cherries, but I got along pretty well… middle school was the worst for me) so why are my dreams always focused on HS?

  3. I still have nightmares that something is wrong at the hospital even though I don’t work there anymore. Not sure if I talk or just break out in a cold sweat. I have managed to stop calling in and restrict myself to email.

  4. I don’t know if this qualifies but I had a sexy dream about my boss the other night and he is definitely not sexy…We were making out and holding hands…eeewwww!!! I couldn’t even look at him when I got to work the next day. I was afraid he would take one look at my face and be all ” you dreamt about me last night”! I think I am still scarred…I feel like my brain betrayed me.

    • That’s too funny! I think that happens to EVERYONE, because I know I’ve had those dreams. LOL actually, my co-worker was telling me she wanted to comment on this post but she didn’t want to reveal her weird co-worker dream to the entire internet. You are not alone, Sami!

    • Definitely not alone! And that feeling is totally valid because even though you know logically that no one could really KNOW you dreamt about them, you still feel like it is written all over your face. Have you ever had the weird experience where you don’t remember you dreamt about someone until you see them and then have weird, creppy dream flashbacks? Maybe that’s just me, but I get that all the time and then I start acting like a complete idiot from having strange dream deja vu in front of another person :/

  5. I have those same anxious dreams about having to do high school all over again or that I signed up for a college class that I forgot to go to but I still have to take the final. I also still have wedding nightmares, which started when I was planning my wedding two years ago, things like I wind up marrying the wrong person by mistake or something terrible goes wrong with the wedding. I thought those would go away after the wedding, but it seems not.

    • Oh yes! I occasionally still have the odd wedding dream too, three years after the fact. Mid-dream I think “didn’t we do this already?” and I’ll be told that the other wedding was just a rehearsal and it’s too bad because the current one is awful.

  6. I still have dreams once in a while that I have to go back to high school and complete a few more credits. It’s always the same dream. I am standing in the office trying to figure out which class I need to take. I am upset that I have had my diploma revoked even though I have a Master’s Degree. Mostly I feel really old in there with all of the teenagers. It is a nightmare. I have been known to walk and talk in my sleep. You are not alone in your afflictions! Last night I dreamt that my blog turned into someone elses blog and I couldn’t get mine to work. I woke up in a sweat…

  7. I used to have those same High School dreams!! They went away when I graduated college, so I think they were brought on by my feeling of somehow not being as far along in my education as I wanted to be. But my High School was always on this crazy island in the middle of a lake in my dreams. I would wake up in a cold sweat. But I know now all anxiety dreams are that simple to work out, and they usually work themselves out in time. But it sucks in the meantime! I have found that reading something light, like Celia Rivenbark, helps. I don’t know if you’ve ever read her stuff, but it’s so funny and even though it is about Southern women, I think her writing touches on feelings and funny situations we all experience, and since this is a book blog (even though it may not be such a thought-provoking choice), it’s always worth a gander in my book :)

    • Man, I must be broken. I graduated with my bachelor’s 7 and a half years ago. And yet, high school nightmares will not leave! I might have to check out the author you mentioned, I really like pretty much everything Fannie Flagg has written, and that’s all southern fried goodness. Thanks!

      • You are not broken, I promise! The dreams are just there for a different reason. But Celia always calms my nerves. I think it’s just having happy, funny thoughts right before sleep that helps. Sometimes, I’ll also take a piece of paper and write down all the crap I’m worrying about, just to get it out. It usually looks a lot better on paper than in my head, and then I can sleep better without the anxiety dreams. Whatever your solution, I hope it comes for you :) I will also check out Fannie!

  8. I love conversing with sleep-talkers. Sometimes you can talk to them for a while if you do it right. They’ll eventually snap out of it and say something like “wtf are you talking about”.

    I’m a sleep-eater. I don’t get it. It’s probably kind of dangerous the more I think about it. Sometimes I wake up in the morning and there’s all kinds of cereal bowls and food wrappers laying around in the kitchen. Then I start wondering if the house got broken into and somebody ate all my food. That’s not a very likely explanation…

  9. I am basically the queen of weird dreams. And sleep talking (I have entire conversations that I never remember). My husband feels for Jim.

    One of my favorite dreams that I can remember is that I was in my mom’s house with my husband and my whole family. Suddenly a T-Rex showed up at the door CLAIMING to be delivering pizza. My brother went to open it and I was freaking out, as the only person who realized the T-Rex was really there to eat us (DUH, family, come on). But actually my brother paid for the pizza and the T-Rex just went away. Then a pterodactyl swooped down through the living room window and started chasing me. The end.

    • That is EPIC. Your pizza delivering dinosaur just reminded me! I once had a dream I was being chased by a tornado, but the tornado slowed down and was the Noid from Domino’s Pizza. Remember the Noid?! Yeah. Apparently he could turn into a tornado like Taz on Looney Tunes.

  10. I currently have a ridiculous amount of crazy dreams due to pregnancy. Seriously pregnancy makes your brain crazy and dream weird things that could actually happen!! I frequently wake up wondering if it was a dream or not…. Some are arguments, some are shall we say a bit scandalous *ahem* and some are normal things with weird components- like I once dreamed I had a baby and was storing it in the fridge till I got the room ready. Yay for weirdness!!!!!

  11. Pingback: Top Ten Tuesday: The Most Frustrating Characters in Literature! « Words for Worms

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